The Art of Tip Baiting
By Micah A. Towery
Tip baiting is a fine art, requiring great skill, grace and diligence. As a coffee shop employee you are not dependent on tips. These tips can easily accrue to hundreds of dollars in untaxed extra cash, which you can spend on various vices, habits, or necessities.
Tip baiting appeals to the two emotions most common in humans: guilt and pride. It is about creating a particular impression: you, the poor, overworked employee, rose early to assist the commuting masses in their worthy capitalistic endeavors, but have received little thanks or gratitude. The customer, either feeling guilty on behalf of his stingy fellow man, or wishing to have grateful coffee shop employees groveling at his feet, will tip a small amount, which, over time, will accumulate significantly.
To give such an impression of destitution, the employee must keep careful watch on the tip receptacle. When one sees anything more than a few dollars and some loose change, they must immediately, but discreetly, dump the excess into a hidden cup. It is a simple procedure and one cannot be remiss in his duty.
A tip receptacle may be any sort of container. But it should be subtle: no loud gaudy letters declaring "TIPS!" (read desperation) or silly phrases such as "Thanks a latte!" (read unoriginal and tacky), unless one is intentionally trying to appear pathetic, which might actually be an effective technique. Otherwise, such things are tasteless and give an impression of begging. Begging gives away whatever power the employee has. No matter what, the employee must hold power at all times. One may object that the prideful tipper thinks the employee is groveling and begging; however, in truth, the employee is always holding all the cards, for he knows about the hidden tip cup. As soon as the prideful customer turns around, patting himself on the back for being so generous, the employee may allow himself a knowing smile.
The type of monetary denominations in the tip jar is another important aspect of tip baiting. While keeping a low amount of money is important, one
should always keep at least two or three dollars in the tip receptacle, as if some kind soul gave a whole dollar as a tip. This sets both the precedence of tip amount, and establishes tradition of that precedent. The prideful tipper will be obligated to match this and the guilty tippers feel they should tip this amount at least.
After receiving a tip, the employee should give a simple "thank you," nothing more or less. It should be enough to express the necessary thanks, so as not to appear ungrateful, but never so much as to satisfy the guilt or pride of the tippers. These feelings are the weakness of the customer and should be exploited without their knowledge.
The denomination and amount of money is also important to prevent the phenomenon known as tip dipping. Oftentimes, in an attempt to come up with the right change, customers will grab money out of the tip jar to make ends meet or simply to avoid breaking a dollar (you know who you are!). Feigning ignorance, they know that all the employee can do is give them dirty looks. Any sort of protest would reveal the employee to be the greedy grubber he is. The tip dipper knows this and exploits the weakness. Occasionally, there is a truly ignorant person, who would choose to believe that the tip jar is the cumulative generosity of some brotherhood of coffee drinkers (an idea inherently absurd considering the gluttonous hordes that would compose such a brotherhood). The tip baiter, however, can always spot a true tip dipper, as one sneaky bastard to another. An underhand dirty look is the sole retaliation for this protection racquet in which the tip dipper is engaging. That and spitting in his drink. This allows the employee another chance for the knowing smile.
Tip baiting is a fine art, requiring great skill, grace and diligence. As a coffee shop employee you are not dependent on tips. These tips can easily accrue to hundreds of dollars in untaxed extra cash, which you can spend on various vices, habits, or necessities.
Tip baiting appeals to the two emotions most common in humans: guilt and pride. It is about creating a particular impression: you, the poor, overworked employee, rose early to assist the commuting masses in their worthy capitalistic endeavors, but have received little thanks or gratitude. The customer, either feeling guilty on behalf of his stingy fellow man, or wishing to have grateful coffee shop employees groveling at his feet, will tip a small amount, which, over time, will accumulate significantly.
To give such an impression of destitution, the employee must keep careful watch on the tip receptacle. When one sees anything more than a few dollars and some loose change, they must immediately, but discreetly, dump the excess into a hidden cup. It is a simple procedure and one cannot be remiss in his duty.
A tip receptacle may be any sort of container. But it should be subtle: no loud gaudy letters declaring "TIPS!" (read desperation) or silly phrases such as "Thanks a latte!" (read unoriginal and tacky), unless one is intentionally trying to appear pathetic, which might actually be an effective technique. Otherwise, such things are tasteless and give an impression of begging. Begging gives away whatever power the employee has. No matter what, the employee must hold power at all times. One may object that the prideful tipper thinks the employee is groveling and begging; however, in truth, the employee is always holding all the cards, for he knows about the hidden tip cup. As soon as the prideful customer turns around, patting himself on the back for being so generous, the employee may allow himself a knowing smile.
The type of monetary denominations in the tip jar is another important aspect of tip baiting. While keeping a low amount of money is important, one
should always keep at least two or three dollars in the tip receptacle, as if some kind soul gave a whole dollar as a tip. This sets both the precedence of tip amount, and establishes tradition of that precedent. The prideful tipper will be obligated to match this and the guilty tippers feel they should tip this amount at least.
After receiving a tip, the employee should give a simple "thank you," nothing more or less. It should be enough to express the necessary thanks, so as not to appear ungrateful, but never so much as to satisfy the guilt or pride of the tippers. These feelings are the weakness of the customer and should be exploited without their knowledge.
The denomination and amount of money is also important to prevent the phenomenon known as tip dipping. Oftentimes, in an attempt to come up with the right change, customers will grab money out of the tip jar to make ends meet or simply to avoid breaking a dollar (you know who you are!). Feigning ignorance, they know that all the employee can do is give them dirty looks. Any sort of protest would reveal the employee to be the greedy grubber he is. The tip dipper knows this and exploits the weakness. Occasionally, there is a truly ignorant person, who would choose to believe that the tip jar is the cumulative generosity of some brotherhood of coffee drinkers (an idea inherently absurd considering the gluttonous hordes that would compose such a brotherhood). The tip baiter, however, can always spot a true tip dipper, as one sneaky bastard to another. An underhand dirty look is the sole retaliation for this protection racquet in which the tip dipper is engaging. That and spitting in his drink. This allows the employee another chance for the knowing smile.
posted by Tim Hoskins at 12:00 PM
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